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Post by Wicked on Jul 18, 2008 12:37:39 GMT -5
You've been in this relationship for sometime now, five years or better. You haven't thought about leaving, but there are times when you get on each other's nerves. Do you still love them? Or are we just going through the motions.
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Post by T-SMOOVE on Jul 21, 2008 11:05:49 GMT -5
THATS A TOUGH CALL. YOU WANT TO LOVE THEM BUT SOMETIMES YOU JUST CANT MAKE IT WORK ANYMORE. YOU BOTH KNOW HOW YOU COULD MAKE IT WORK, ITS JUST PUTTING IN THAT WORK THAT MAKES PEOPLE SAY WHY SHOULD I CONTINUE TO TRY WHEN IM THE ONLY ONE DOING SO. SOME PEOPLE GET USED TO THE BS AND WILL JUST RIDE IT OUT TIL THINGS GET BETTER OR THE RELATIONSHIP ULTIMATELY COMES TO AN END.
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Post by Deep Chocolate in Deep South on Jul 21, 2008 20:07:49 GMT -5
I can't be there if it ain't working - cause that always leads to other issues and problems. I'd rather leave and hurt...instead of stay and hurt each other more....
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Post by T-SMOOVE on Jul 22, 2008 9:00:28 GMT -5
OK, WHAT IF CHILDREN ARE INVOLVED??? WOULD THE SAME APPLY OR WOULD YOU TRY HARDER TO MAKE IT WORK???
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Post by sexysafire on Jul 24, 2008 21:58:52 GMT -5
You can try harder, but if the two just aren't happy with one another, there is no point in putting the child through that. I've seen that with my parents. they tried and tried, but they ended up splitting up when i was 14 and were divorced a year or so later. I can see that my father still loves my mother, which is cute. But they are better off now.
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Post by Wicked on Jul 31, 2008 16:11:51 GMT -5
Smoove I think what you are talking about is mutual sacrifice.
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Post by Deep Chocolate in Deep South on Aug 3, 2008 20:54:42 GMT -5
OK, WHAT IF CHILDREN ARE INVOLVED??? WOULD THE SAME APPLY OR WOULD YOU TRY HARDER TO MAKE IT WORK??? I don't have kids...but I think I'd still feel the same. Just because you're "together" doesn't make a family and it definitely doesn't make a household harmonious.
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Post by T-SMOOVE on Aug 6, 2008 9:17:04 GMT -5
OK, WHAT IF CHILDREN ARE INVOLVED??? WOULD THE SAME APPLY OR WOULD YOU TRY HARDER TO MAKE IT WORK??? I don't have kids...but I think I'd still feel the same. Just because you're "together" doesn't make a family and it definitely doesn't make a household harmonious. THATS NOT ALTOGETHER TRUE. IT DOES MAKE YOUR KIDS LIFE A LITTLE BETTER, ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND WHY MOMMY AND DADDY CANT BE TOGETHER. SOMETIMES ITS WORTH SACRIFICING FOR YOUR CHILDS SAKE.
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Post by T-SMOOVE on Aug 6, 2008 9:18:05 GMT -5
Smoove I think what you are talking about is mutual sacrifice. YESSIR!!!
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Post by Deep Chocolate in Deep South on Aug 6, 2008 19:23:03 GMT -5
I don't have kids...but I think I'd still feel the same. Just because you're "together" doesn't make a family and it definitely doesn't make a household harmonious. THATS NOT ALTOGETHER TRUE. IT DOES MAKE YOUR KIDS LIFE A LITTLE BETTER, ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND WHY MOMMY AND DADDY CANT BE TOGETHER. SOMETIMES ITS WORTH SACRIFICING FOR YOUR CHILDS SAKE. As a kid that grew up in that type of household....I'd have to disagree with you. It might have made things better financial but all of that tension and drama can give a kid an ulcer.
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Post by sexysafire on Aug 6, 2008 21:11:11 GMT -5
I don't think you should stay together for the children. That never works, in my opinion. I have a friend now that is doing that and she is so unhappy and it aches me to see her like that. They have 2 kids and one is already sick, so the added stress around the house is harming her daughter more but no one seems to notice. I told her that she needs to just leave, it's not worth it at all. It's all in the matter of how you tell your children that have an impact.
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Post by T-SMOOVE on Aug 7, 2008 8:40:28 GMT -5
IT ALL DEPENDS ON THE PARENTS. IF YOU HAVE TWO PEOPLE WHO ABSOLUTELY HATE EACHOTHER THEN OFCOURSE ITS NOT GONNA WORK. IM JUST SAYING THE OLDER THE KIDS ARE THE BETTER IT WILL BE FOR THEM IN TERMS OF HAVING A HARMFUL EEFECT ON THEIR DEVELOPMENT.
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Post by sexysafire on Aug 7, 2008 8:43:10 GMT -5
It is harder on the younger children. I've seen that in my own family.
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Post by T-SMOOVE on Aug 7, 2008 8:52:13 GMT -5
THATS MY POINT EXACTLY. THAT ISH CAN REALLY MESS A CHILD UP. MOST KIDS WHO START HAVING BEHAVIORAL PROBLEMS HAVE GONE THRU THEIR PARENTS DIVORCING.
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Post by sexysafire on Aug 7, 2008 8:54:05 GMT -5
Yeah, but that's in just most cases. In other cases, it does have a positive effect. There are kids who vow to wait for true love and actually believe in marriage. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen.
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